Women. Power. And Women's Bill.

Women's Bill! Every time the topic comes up, I am reminded of what a male candidate had once written in the entrance exam to Mass Communication Course," If people had wanted, the Bill would have passed long ago. The fact is nobody wants it." This was said about 5-6 years ago! And you bet, I gave him marks lavishly and made sure that he got selected. For he made a statement that would prove true for all times to come.

And imagine this controversial Bill finally got passed in the Rajya Sabha! The happy and jubilant faces of Sonia Gandhi, Sushma Swaraj and others was a sight to behold. I felt happy too even if slightly unsure. Frankly if we have to go by words, we must indeed have 33% reservation for women judging from the fact that 50% of India's population is women. And rightly so, Arun Jaitley's remark that at the moment we only have 10% women representation in the parliament certainly makes us agree. But the catch lies there. What kind of Women Representation do we want? Will these new entries be as dignified, intelligent, honest, sincere and committed as Sonia Gandhi, Renuka Choudhary, Sushma Swaraj, Brinda Karat or say Shabana Azmi? Or are we going to end up having women leaders like Mayawati? Have our great leaders thought of the consequences? I know I have asked too many questions. But then I was not born yesterday. I have seen women creating homes and have also seen women breaking homes. That brings us to the fact, that India is a Home for we Indians. Naturally, we have have to think of what kind of daughter-in-law we want.

I am staying in Indore for the last 12-13 years. Indore is in Madhya Pradesh-a state that's quite backward as compared to Kerala, Maharashtra, Delhi, etc. I am also reminded of an interesting incident where one our peons in the university was happy that his mother had won the Village Panchayat Elections. This meant that power would eventually come to the male members of the family. I had been left speechless then just as I have been left speechless now! For it certainly means out of the frying pan into the fire!

Mind you, Power is intoxicating. And power in the wrong hands could spell doom. Instead, let's start slowly. Let's make literacy compulsory up to 12th standard in villages particularly. And also make sure that the contestant's form is filled by the woman herself.

India needs women leaders like Kiran Bedi who stopped the vulgar Holi that was being played in Delhi way back in the 70's and 80's. We want women leaders who will do something for the safety of women and work towards the upliftment of the country. I am not amused by numbers. I would any time trust a man like Pranab Mukherji and other such dignified leaders than go in for Mayawati, Rabri Devi and others.

Sans Feeling or Inhuman! We Indians?

My son,who studies at a leading law college, was upset the other day. It seems, an established criminal lawyer was invited to their esteemed institute to deliver a guest lecture. And so some forty odd students, comprising both boys and girls and two lady professors sat listening with rapt attention.

In the course of his lecture, he discussed the various cases he had fought and won. All was well till he came to the part when he said how he had saved a client who had been charged with murder. The advocate mentioned in passing that the man had committed seven-eight murders before that. My son could take no more. "But what about the Professional Ethics, Sir " He asked. The advocate, who was presumably in his thirties replied a trifle annoyed that it was his profession to defend his client. My son couldn't contain himself and so this time addressed the lady professors. But, he was instead asked to sit down.

The Defence Advocate probably felt challenged. And this time he rattled something that was even more obnoxious than before. He said that he had once saved a man charged with raping a minor girl. The man had before that raped seven more minor girls. Surprisingly, in a hall packed with as many girls as boys (not to forget the two lady teachers), there was just one girl who stood up to protest.

Later when my son recounted the horrible tale, I exclaimed with disgust at the rape. It was at that, that my son checked me, "Aai(Mom)! Rape or murder both are bad. In fact any crime is bad. A Defence Lawyer's job is not to save the skin of a criminal but to place a clear picture before the judge. That is what is being done in Kasab's case."

While I felt proud of my son, I don't really know what to say about the rest of the audience particularly the girls and the teachers who allowed the lecture to take place in that manner. I really wonder if our leading Supreme Court lawyers and political leaders such as Kapil Sibal, Abhishek Singhvi, Arun Jaitley, Ravishankar Prasad would also support the lecture? It really makes me think, "Are we as a nation, sans any feeling or just plain and simple inhuman!"

The Hidden Talent

My beautician friend suffers from nervous pangs when her clients on visit don't speak. She feels, they are unhappy and will go elsewhere next time! She cites one such example of a client who would come regularly to her for a facial treatment, but not utter a single word. This despite all the talking going about. Just nothing seemed to amuse her- neither the filmy gossip nor the general happenings. " May be she is just plain and simple dull!" snapped an employee. My friend was not convinced. And one day it happened. A newly married girl dropped by. She was in a foul mood for not getting some recipe right. Dropping in at the parlour was a kind of diversion. That's when the lady started speaking. She asked the girl how she had gone about with the recipe. After listening patiently, she offered her some rectifying methods. It came out that the lady was a great cook, with several award winning recipes to her credit.

I have experienced this in my teaching profession too. Those students who show off or talk a lot are disastrous in exams and seminars. It is often the quiet ones that take you by surprise.

They don't fill pages and pages but give you interesting examples. I remember one journalism student writing on Women's Reservation Bill- " If they had wanted, they would have passed it long ago. The fact is nobody wants it!". (It was regarding the 33% reservation for women in the parliament). A real sharp observation from a young boy! At another time a girl explained what 'Interpersonal Conflict' was, when asked about it in Human Communication paper. "It's when I write to my dad for money. And he replies, wait for next month". What a sweet interesting explanation in the midst of boring stereotyped answers.

Naturally students like these score more marks than others. How come the loud talkers show poor wit and presence of mind at such times? Probably, they burn themselves out proving others stupid!

It's the case of, 'Empty vessels make more noise'. Or perhaps, ' Silent waters run deep!'

Election Results. My Revived Hopes.

Gosh! poor voting had scared me , for it meant unstable government once more. But things have somehow worked out and Congress has emerged as the single largest party.

Not that I hate Advaniji or his party, but I want a government that will work on issues that are more important. And yes! I am happy that Shiv Sena and MNS are out.

As a citizen of the country I want the following things from the government:

1) I want a separate Minister for Education. Somebody who will work with his team and see that a good educational standard is maintained in all schools, colleges and universities. I want a minister who will pay more attention to the quality of education rather than spend time pleasing the minorities.

2) I want safety for girls and women. The recent episodes of rapes in the trains is a matter of grave concern. Domestic violence needs to stop too.

3) I am against 33% reservation for women. We cannot afford to have women candidates who are dumb and with no mind of their own. It would be dangerous to have these women passing on the baton to unworthy husbands and sons. For this would mean gross misrule in the constituency.

4) I want a clean government that will promote good NGO's in the society. I am told that several of the NGO's have to pay bribes to government employees in order to get the work done. Just last week my husband and I came across a helpless 17 year old boy looking for work. He had a mop in hand and was looking around to wipe scooters and cars. The boy told us that he had no parents.There are many such helpless boys and girls in the streets. There are also people like us willing to help in their own small way. Indeed, an NGO in every area would be a great help.

5) I would also like the new government to focus on economic stability and employment guidance to the youth.

6) This apart, terrorism needs to be tackled very very fast. Our laws are indeed outdated. We need to adopt stringent measures to combat terrorism. We have lost enough of lives.

Please Mr. Prime Minister do look into these suggestions. Call it an earnest request from an Indian citizen.

And yes! Amir Khan's ad campaign, together with Tata Tea moral appeal ads should continue next 5 years so that people wake up to vote next time at least.

Miss India 2009 Contest

April 5, 2009 was a Sunday with a difference. I was at home nursing a fractured leg. That's when I came across"Pantaloon Miss India Contest" on Sony TV. And, when my fingers refused to move any further on the remote I realised that this was what I wanted to watch. Certainly a nice shift from my broken leg, from politicians bribing the people for votes, fathers raping their own daughters, and sons killing their own parents.

The programme seemed interesting. The hosts R. Madhavan and Malaika Arora were at their best. So also Swapnil Joshi and Karan Wahi who were the co-hosts. I and my Physiotherapist-daughter( who had dropped down for the weekend to see me) sat down to watch the grand happening.What's more, my husband joined us , even if, for a short while!

The contestants were from various places such as Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Pune, etc. One contest was from Indore. Unfortunately, she didn't make it to the semi-finals. Lack of command over English I guess! But then, an Indore lass making it to the national level was by no means a small achievement. Better luck next time (as my husband always says)! Surprisingly, there were no contestants from Punjab, Gujarat, and the north east regions this time.

What left me spellbound was the height of the girls! No contestant was less than 5ft 7inch. I was reminded of the time when Kiran Juneja and Swaroop Sampat were Miss India. The average height was 5ft 3inch. Even Juhi Chawla was about the same height.

I was however disappointed by the western style of costumes. Saree or Salwar kameez would have any time looked elegant and beautiful on the Indian beauties. "Oh, come on! They are being groomed for the international event." My husband snapped. But then, that's no explanation. We can't dump our national costume this way. International event preparation can always done later. Midway somewhere, the contestants did drape something that had a semblance to sarees.

The judges were an eminent lot- Former Miss Universe Sushmita Sen, Director Madhur Bhandarkar of Page 3 and Chandni Bar fame, Actor Ajay Devgan, the scintillating new stars -Deepika Padukone and Asin Khan.This apart Nandita Mahatani, Ravi Krishnan and Mickey Broadman were also among the judges.

An actor par excellence, Ajay Devgan should do away with that perpetual bored look. But, I do agree that his question," What issue troubles you most today?' did not get a fair answer from Pooja Chopra-the winner of PFMI World 2009 title. The contestant could have touched the woman issue, especially in the light of recent incidents where fathers have emerged as rapists.

Judge Sushmita Sen Asked the same question that was put to her once-What is the essence of being a woman? The answer was disappointing again. Feminity and gentleness are the essence of womanhood. Something which we women are fast losing today. Sushmita Sen had sure given a good answer there and won every one's hearts. Ekta Chowdhry, PFMI Universe 2009 answered very well to the question, "If you were to meet God, what would you ask him and why?" Ekta answered if we are born equal, why is there demarcation in the name of religion. And why is there so much bloodshed.

There was yet another good question-Given a choice, what would you choose-career or family? The PFMI Earth 2009 winner Shreya Kishore gave an all time bad answer when she said, 'career'! Charity begins at home, my dear!

I think that's what makes Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai stand out . The two women are truly great. But then, should we really have Q-A session in beauty pageants? Were Cleopatra, Shakuntala, etc. judged for their sharpness of minds? I think we are mixing the 2 issues and in the process being unfair to both the class of people-the intelligent and the beautiful.

Me thinks, let the beautiful people look beautiful. Ethics and standards should be left to people like Shashi Thiroor, Bachchi Karkaria and others.

Death due to Ragging

My heart felt condolences to Aman Kachru's family. It is really sad that this19 year old boy died due to ragging, in a medical college in Himachal Pradesh.

I really don't have words. It's the person who faces the loss knows what it is. And so I only pray to God to do speedy justice.

There are so many dreams and aspirations when a baby is born. The dreams grow with the child. And if the same child were to get into medical, what better luck could one have! And then suddenly news of death?And all dreams coming crashing down. It is not fair! It is just not fair!

What were those senior boys trying to achieve? And what were all the witnesses (of several days) thinking? That they would relate the tales of ragging with much spice later on? How could the "future doctors " be so cruel and inhuman? I also wish to know how the accused boys secured admission to the medical college. What disturbs me most is how did this ragging last so long? As per me, ragging means a simple question-answer session, which sets a rapport between the seniors and juniors. A bit of song and dance, by which the talent is detected. And finally, this is something which is enjoyed by both the juniors as well as the seniors. And normally, this kind of interaction gets over with the Freshers' Night, i.e. in a month's time. But then, it is best to ban this harmless act also, if decency is going to be trespassed each time.

The academic year is coming to an end soon. At least, next year we should not have cases of ragging or brutality. One thing more. Every hosteler must have a Local Guardian. This should be made compulsory. Secondly, we must have more medical colleges so that students will be nearer their respective homes. How come engineering colleges are dime a dozen? And that, they also succeed in meeting the requirements of the AICTE i.e. All India Council For Technical Education? But the medical colleges invariably fail to meet the expectations of the Medical Council Of India? In fact, a sword always hangs on every medical college. I have seen this in Indore.

Besides this, there is a need for UGC to try and make other courses interesting too. For, there will always be some who will be interested in Chemistry, Economics, etc. The students need to be shown hope here. Besides, the world cannot just run on engineers and doctors. I am sure by working on this aspect, several students will be nearer their homes at the under-graduate level . Naturally, they will be happy, secure and relaxed.

We cannot afford to lose our younger generation this way.

On this note I end ."Happy Gudi Padwa"- Marathi New Year.

Human Dignity.

At my age, If I say, I have never been humiliated would be a downright lie!

Yes, there have been difficult moments when the other person took advantage of his rank, position, social status, money or just plain luck to hurt me. And the hurt was much more than the mistake made. But then, if it was a job I was luckier than some. This I must admit! For I have quit whenever I felt miserable. Basically, because I have never been the main earning member. And also because I was never in a job that that had a bond.

Naturally therefore, I felt that there was much more than what was reported in the case of the army jawan shooting down a junior commissioned officer and six others. Was mental torment the reason? We certainly do need to find out. Of course, I do agree that an offence is an offence. And in this case, about seven people have lost their lives. But even then, the possibility of a long time hurt, needs to be probed into.

The International Code of Ethics For Public Relations clearly states in its charter the need, "to pay due regard to, and uphold, human dignity...'' This is what I feel. I could be wrong, and I could be right. It is the judgement alone that will tell.

Supposing it is mental torment, my advice to the youngsters( just as to my children) would be to work steadfast and rise like the'DhruvTara'-the pole star and reach where no one can displace or insult you. Violence leads to no solution.

Indeed, At such times I remember "Gulliver Travels" where tiny and small lilliputians are shown to be so cruel. Well, cruelty has always been a streak of human beings I guess!

Sandra Samuel- Christian saving Jew

I bow to you Sandra.
You may have worked for me once upon a time in Navy Nagar, Mumbai. But today, your single act of bravery has placed you far above me in the eyes of God as well as all of us.
In the last few years we have seen learned men such as engineers, doctors, etc., turning to terrorism in the eyes of religion. And, here we have you! Without batting an eyelid, you flung yourself to save an innocent baby. I am sure, the baby's parents' must be blessing you from somewhere up there. What an irony! The baby's parents were killed in the name of Palestine-"Remember, what happened in Palestine?" Showing in the process all hatred towards Jewism. And, you saved the innocent Jew baby in the name of christanity.
Indeed you have shown us all how bogus the education is today.
May you continue showing us the path of goodness and righteousness.
With best wishes to your family. Your son Sanu must be a strapping youth now. My son Udayan and Sanu were very good friends. You were fond of Udayan. In fact you always had a special fondness for kids.
Bless you Sandra

Senior Citizens

My week long holiday was great! In Delhi, I met my father who is now eighty, and in good health...Touch wood.
But I noticed something amidst it all. I found that the entire colony had aged. I happened to go to the chemist, and I found an old man quarrelling over pittance. I must appreciate the chemist who stayed calm through out. And finally also coming out with a solution. The scene took place in the afternoon. Maybe, son and daughter-in-law were both at work? That started my thought process . I noticed my father quite irritable at times. The same evening, I visited the temple that stood majestically in the colony. I met two acquaintances... aunties, basically, sitting on an old bench in the temple observing people around and also watching the children ( grand-children) playing. Well, that was a nice scene.
As I set out to return, I encountered 'irritable persons' yet again. They were my uncles who had been very active once upon a time! They seemed so unhappy now....unhappy with power breakdown, water scarcity, transport problem, insecurity, growing disrespect among children, etc., etc. But one thing was certain. Their suggestions were worth considering.
I found myself face to face with some hard realities that day-Firstly, life can be quite difficult after retirement, especially, if a person has been active and at a decisive position- today it is only men, but tomorrow it could be women as well.. Secondly, life was not going to be easy for me either unless I developed some preoccupation from now itself. Kudos to my aunts, then, for sure!

But then something more needs to done I guess. Frustration among old people can to some extent be checked if we seek their advice on problems of the society. May be we could come up with clubs for old citizens which could organize picnics, and some fun?
We do need to think on these lines.