Media! Think before you speak.

I had just returned from work with my husband on Monday, April 13th. Being a housewife I headed straight to the kitchen, whilst my husband put on the TV.

And then it happened. I heard a Hindi channel reporter interviewing a young man. "How much is your income per month?" The young man answered humbly, "Rs.13,o00". The next question that followed was, "Are you staying in your own house or is it your parents?" The poor chap said," My parents". At this, the reporter snapped, "parents' house is not your house!" The haughty tone of the lady reporter was outright hurting. Isn't it the same media which talks today of the benefits of staying in a joint family and blah blah blah?

I guess the survey was about inflation. But, whatever! I recall a conversation with a senior colleague of mine when I was newly married and worked as a teacher in a near by school.And that was about 28 years ago. 'Alka Madam' taught Maths to the senior classes. A gold medalist in college, Alka Madam was genuinely a nice person who would give us advice during the famous lunch sessions. At one such time she told us how angry she had been in one of the previous schools. Having no brother, she explained, she really had no patience with the boys. ( Of course God made sure that she had 2 sons later on!) Anyway, one day as newly married herself, she shouted at some of the boys without really meaning to be cruel, "Don't study! And end up as clerks, for all I care." The principal of the school, happened to pass by. He must have over-heard, for she was summoned to the cabin soon. The Father i.e. the principal was a man in 50's humbled by age and experience. Without making it an issue, he said something which is important for all times to come- " No job is menial. Also, in a society, everyone cannot be an officer. What about the other jobs that have to be done? We become what we are destined to become. But, tomorrow I will not like this boy to feel miserable if he joins as clerk." The lunch ended and Alka Madam left for her class. But those words continued to ring in my mind. Several years have passed. I still remember the tone and words. I am grateful to Alka Madam for guiding us thus.

Today, I wish to give the same piece of advice to the particular lady reporter and also the others in the media. Indeed, everyone cannot be Tata or Birla. But that doesn't mean that those who do not make it to that level have no no right to live or get married. Leave it for the couples or families to face their own lives. One more thing! Rs.13,000 is certainly not less initially. And especially not if he/she belongs to a smaller place

Surveys are always important. They lead us to a lot of things. New topics come up for research etc. etc. But while doing a survey, a certain maturity has to be maintained. A neutral stand has to be observed and guidance has to be there.

So Housewife! What Do You Do The Whole Day?

When My husband was in the services, this was this question often posed to me rather condescendingly at the parties " So Mrs. ... what do you do the whole day?" And, not just me! It was put to several like me who for some reason were not working.

I remember often saying to myself, "I am not a union leader, to remember every single work I do. But then, I must be doing something constructive, because of which my kids do not go for any tuition ? Surely, I must be doing something that my kids have developed the habit of reading good books and discussing things that are worthwhile? Surely, it is worth staying at home and not leaving children in the custody of unsafe people. And God forbid later crying in case of something terrible happening to the daughter?" But, try as much I could never ever come up with this retort. How I wish I had done it! How I hate myself for this! For, the people who looked down upon me or others were an insensitive lot! Those who never realised, how traumatic it is to find that one's daughter has been raped by the domestic servant or that the son has taken to wrong ways. Somehow, the party decorum always had its pressures.

But, today I want to say this loud and clear. Please allow mothers to bring up their children well. The decision to work or not to work incase of a mother/housewife, lies entirely with the family. And, no outsider has a right to ask questions there. For, we alone know the situation we are in. Really, no society or country can allow minor girls and boys with no sense of responsibility to bear children. It is ridiculous! Yes, I am referring to the news where an 8 year old boy in U.K. has fathered a girl baby. The mother, too, happens to be just 15 years. If that is not enough, 2 more boys have claimed that they are the 'actual father'. Ofcourse, I do respect their honesty. For in India, no boy would have owned this, I am sure! But, that's not all. What is shocking is that the young mother Chantelle, was sleeping with 8 teenaged boys! How come the children were not drawn to games and other hobbies that go with the age?

To blame the parents of the children, would be too hasty at the moment. May be a double income was a necessity at home?Or may be, the social pressures were heavy on the mother just as they are in my country? Clearly, there is much more than what meets the eye.

But, whatever, something needs to be done to improve the standards of the society and the people. I think the entire world needs good Thinkers now, Fast...Very Fast.