Fear

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself!" The famous lines of President Roosevelt come bombarding to me whenever I am in the grip of fear. And yet, I have not been able to conquer this wretched weakness of mine. 

Do others also experience fear at workplace? I wonder most often. 

Jealousy, Rivalry or One-upmanship is a baggage that comes with any job - I guess! And so I feel a trifle jealous of all those working men & women, who efficiently tackle this menace without worrying  about the consequences. Really, I wonder if they never feel wary of their luck while acting tough?

I will anytime love to take some tips.

All is Well. But I Am Scared...

Yes, I am too scared to even acknowledge to myself that all is well! Supposing things go wrong?

Life was tough...very tough. May be it is so with everybody. But my life is my life! And I know what I have gone through.

I hated to work when the children were small. I had reserved all my career dreams for later years when the children would be grown and not need me. But imagine! When this phase arrived, I didn't even know!

And last week, when I paid visit to my old ad agency, the Director remarked, "Now what's holding you?" Your children are grown up. Your husband is occupied. So now, what is the problem?"

I really had no answer. That instant my brain too reasoned with me, "Yes, what's the problem?"

A small fear hidden deep within me raised a doubt as usual, "What if things go wrong..."

The thought was scary... very scary...

I must thank my Director who said authoritatively,"You have already wasted a lot of your time. It's high time joined back."

And so it happened! My brain stopped the hidden fear from striking again. Next minute I heard myself saying, "I'll join from next week."

I have joined back my agency. I am happy doing my job. Hope I am not filled with fear again! Somewhere I must learn to say to myself atleast... That All Is Well!

Okay my ageing body. Relax.

Two Fractures in one year. In April it was the left foot. And now it is the left wrist! But just a hairline fracture this time.

Yes I understand I need to take it easy. I also understand that I am growing old minute by minute. But my dear body, I am enjoying what I do. I love the smell of my university. I like my Educational Multimedia Department. I enjoy seeing the positive expressions of the children there. And I like to watch their madness. And nothing makes me happy as much as telling them the various theories of mass communication. For example, how in accordance with Diffusion of Innovation Theory, 'the sending of flowers to erring men' or 'lighting candles as a mark of protest', or for that matter 'the Garba Dance of Gujarat' or 'Ganesh Chaturthi of Maharashtra' have gained popularity. In fact every time I teach I understand it even better.

And my dear 'Body' if you remember, I was hesitant to take up the ad agency job . But I find myself enjoying it now. Do you know Jayesh, our young Graphic Designer, has asked me to suggest some names ( starting with 'ru') for his newly-born son? Oh, I am lovin' it!


It's also fun teaching English to my Director's daughter. Some stories and poems are so interesting. For example, Vikram Seth's ' The Tale of Melon City" or the recent story that we read in Prose titled 'Birth'.

And I enjoyed the faux pas of the bus that I travelled in yesterday. The poor City Bus No.1 that was to ply straight on A.B. Road without turning anywhere was manoeuvered and taken to Indore Railway Station on the insistence of a few passengers. For a few minutes we all wondered if we had got caught a wrong bus. Well, this can happen only in Indore!


May be, the activity is a little too much. But I am eating well. And frankly, now when I am getting time why shouldn't I do it? So my dear 'Body', do give me chance to freak out just a little bit?. I promise I will not overdo. Relax then my dear 'ageing body'.